stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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