So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
