At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
