all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
