I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
