She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
