I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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