can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize