You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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