no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize