you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
