The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
