i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
