I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
