remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
