would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
