Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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