I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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