I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
