Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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