you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
