with your own penis?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
