he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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