His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
