He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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