are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
