my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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