So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
