bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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