Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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