Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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