i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
