Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
