I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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