Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
