her vagine was all disorganized.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Randomize
