I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
