So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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