none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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