he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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