I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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