Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize