just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
