do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
