Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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