We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize