just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
