So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
