when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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