Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This house was built for laser tag.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize