I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
