I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
