I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
