Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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