Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize