i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
