when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
His nipple licking is glorious
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