Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
