as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
