My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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