i think my tv is drunk
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
