the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
