I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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