: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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