you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
