I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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