It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
