Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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