What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
