Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize