I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
